Florida Hizzle

Florida to many, mostly myself, has been a place destined for two types of people: college kids and old people. then there are the kids of the old people who bring their kids to visit the old people, but they don't matter. Then there is the rest of the world--mainly Irish and British people who don't want to have anything to do with the Parisian version of Disney world and spend a hell of a lot more money to go to the Real Disney world just to say they came and conquered. Perhaps the Parisians would come over anyway because they would want to check out their rivals and it'd be funny to them to 'piss off' the Irish and the British. Now that the Irish and British seem to be getting along, it'd be a fair fight...but knowing those Parisians, it end with the Irish beating the bloody pulp out of...well now I'm getting off track...and I was going to include the rest of the world, mainly the Indians, Pakistanis and Italians--because south america and Russia don't matter--and the Chinese don't do Disney. Come to think of it though, the Italians are probably too poor to visit. The stereotype that they're rich is false. There are rich politicians and rich super models but they're either in Milan or Naples and those who live in Venice are rich--but the models will get old and move elsewhere, the politicians will die or become disguised, and the venitians will drown. Okay. So, Florida.

My parents have moved there.

I thought, at first, this would be horrible. Now, I've realized, this is incredible.

With the second blizzard in April, Chicago officially sucks. The only thing the Irish and Chicagoans have in common besides ancestry and the south side is talking about the weather. No kidding you can make friends with just about anyone either here or there just by saying something like, "Oh fuck. It's snowing again."

So here are a few polaroids from my last trip to Paradise...where I've come to love old people, their kids, their kids' kids, all spring breakers, and just about anyone and everyone who lives in Florida--especially the Greeks in Harpon Springs and the Crocodiles. Everyone is god damn happy--even the caged up Anaconda my brother Justin and I spent $20 bucks to see.


Okay, so just for symmetry's sake, I'm going to keep writing. I used to be an editor on the school paper--and since I'm now in graduate school, I should probably specifiy that this was in high school...although I could have left ya'll wondering if I was an editor now--but no, thanks to technology, I only work with my hands these days. Wink. ...Yikes.

The palm tree picture is just a few blocks away from my parent's house. There's an airfield, a yacht club, and a lot of land where people take their dogs. There's a shit ton of unformed seaglass and it seems to be the dumping ground for old brick and cement. You can catch the cruise ships every night around 4:30 and wave to the kiddies and their parents going off to Bermuda, Bahamas (comon pretty mama...[had to]). And for symmetry's sake, I love you. Ciao.

I feel inclined to include a P.s.

P.s. Any comments that appear racist or judgmental are in fact not. I'm a peace lovin' mama with a mean fist and bumper stickers on my car to prove it. Hi-ya!